what have I learnt?

I have learnt to be patience, it may not be my turn to get the goodies today, my chance may come tomorrow;

I have learnt to respect, if I don't want to be yelled at then I should not yell at others;

I have learnt to service, when I service others, my own problems seems so little;

I have learnt not to tell God how to play his dice, perhaps his dice rolls in miraculous way and everything would work out when the time comes;

I have learnt to look into my box and be happy with what I've got, not to look at others and think something is always missing in my box.

I have learnt...... a lot!

everybody got something

It was the end of the 'hook a kid on golf' program yesterday, we made a little graduation day for them. In order to execute Victor's communism, every kid got a little box of gift with an award title on it.

I know many of them needed gloves because blisters have developed on their little palm after beating balls 4 days in a roll. Silly me, did not think of calling my pro at Eastpointe Country Club, on friday morning I gave him a call, told him about the program and the kids need gloves. He is very kind, he said there are a few pair junior gloves left and new stock hasn't arrive for the next season, I am very welcomed to take those and he honestly said he could not cover all 17 kids. But there are some topflite gloves on sale for $5 a piece, I could get some men's cadet small size for them. So he donated 5 pcs and I purchased 5 pcs together we have 10, it covered more than half of the kids, I originally thought.

Sometime things have its way to work out, if I stop because I could not cover all 17 kids, it would be none for everybody. But I let God decide what is the right thing to do, I felt gloves are big items for them and I should get some. Turns out 3 kids couldn't come, one kid already got an old glove, two girls got used gloves from me and another coach, at the end, only one boy does not have a glove and he traded his glove with another girl who really wants a glove in order to get iron head covers.

No matter how well you think you do something, you can not please the whole world and it is ok. I have this kid named Kyle, he is pretty athletic and think he is the best and deserves the best. When he saw the other kid named Tre got a box of gift with 5 smaller items in it, he said to me with an annoying face:

"Look, how come Tre has so many things in his box and I only got 2?"

I replied, "You should be happy with what you got, not to look at other people's box and think you have less. You actually have much more than Tre. You got a brand new glove Tre does not."

Kyle doesn't stop, "but my title is the best putter, I deserve more in my gift."

I replied with a smile, "You already got more, you just do not see it. You got a whole box of new-looking ball from me on tuesday, there are 12 in a box, not many people have that. The next day you got another 6 balls from me, Tre did not have those balls at all, he had 0, so his gift box deserve a few more items in it."

Tre immediately packed his stuffs back in the box in lightening speed and walk away. I am sure he was afraid I was going to take something away from him, I wasn't going to. The one who deserves more get more, the one who never gets enough would never have enough no matters how much you give them, so it doesn't matter. The universe has its adjustment, I just feel I did the best I can and that is the end of it.

Capitalism or Communism

Base on good intention, I packed 12 golf balls into beautiful gift box and give away during the "Hook a kid on golf" program. There were 6 dozens of them I believe, all recycled golf ball from my garage, which I picked up throughout the years while playing golf. I told my friend I have a junk ball collection, whenever I picked up balls on the golf course, if they are not my brand or model, I just threw into this box, it became a big pale of golf balls through the years.

I was giving this beautiful one dozen of golf ball in a box to a kid who perform the best in the group, I gave him / her the whole box. There was a kid named Jeremiah and he was under my coaching in full swing section, he did not win this box of ball because other kids hit the ball straighter or higher. He ran to me and asked me: "Coach Joey, why didn't you pick me for the prizes?"

I said, "Jeremiah, you did not win, Kyle did so he got the box."

He continued, "But you are the one coaching me, you should choose me over others."

I replied. "That is not so, it is a fair competition, everyone have the same chance, I am coaching you does not mean you have a higher chance than others, you would have to perform in order to get the prizes."

He walked away with disappointment in his eyes, my heart sunken a bit but still firm.

In my firm belief, always an over-achiever, I have to perform and excel in order to get the prizes or good grades in school. I thought giving prizes would motivate them to excel and ignite their fire of winning inside of them. And I also intend to give the best and give it all to the best performance candidate.

While Victor was coaching the full swing section, I gave him a box of ball to distribute to the winner of the group, he made everyone of them swing and try their best, then he voted with other coaches who swing the best got the maximum amount of ball, but the one who did not hit the ball too good still get 2 ball for encouragement. He told me the kids are all happy, some get more balls some get less. But they all get something and no one walk away empty handed with disappointment in they eyes.

We had this discussion over dinner at a restaurant, he told me all these kids receive are rejection in society, why are they here for?! more rejection from you? That you gave all the ball to ONE good candidate, the rest have to feel lousy because they did not do as good?! They all tried very hard and some are more athletic some just aren't. I should give something to everyone, just give the good performer a little more than others, so the kids won't feel being rejected, they need encouragement at this age, they need someone to tell them yes you can do it, someone to build them up not to take them down to tell them you are not good enough.

Even I am a capitalist, have to agree Victor is a better coach than I am.

Later at the putting section, Jeremiah won in making the longest putt, I gave him the ball and he did not want to put into his golf bag. I asked him why, he said he wants to bring it home to mom and tell her he won these balls today!

Victor is obviously a better coach, he sees the deepest needs of the kids; I looked at the instant performance. Which I have to say, he is a better coach than me!

Hook a kid on golf

This is a program sponsored by Palm Beach County, endorsed by Raymond Floyd, a retired professional golfer. The concept behind the program is to supply underprivileged children with knowledge and equipment about golf, also provide a venue for them to play free of charge. There are 15 to 20 children from the boys and girls club of Riviera Beach are attending from Monday to Friday, 3 hours each day and I am volunteering as one of the coach. There would be speakers to teach the kids about rules of golf, drug awareness and positive living...etc.

Most of the children are African American, a few of them are Hispanic, hey I am not racial profiling, I myself is an alien to this country. But once the kids arrive to the Par 3 golf course on Ocean Blvd at Lake Worth, they noticed I am the only *not* American coach. So they asked:

"Are you Korean?" "Are you Chinese?"

I replied, "Yes I am Chinese, you are very smart."

"Do you cook Chinese food?" they asked with their eyes wide open.

"Yes, I cook Chinese food, also Italian food too." I answered with a smile.

"Do you do Kungfu too?" They jumped on me like I am someone very special coming out from ShaoLin Temple.

"No, I am sorry I don't do Kungfu. But I do golf very well." I replied.

We separate the kids in 3 groups and rotate them in 3 section of teaching - putting, chipping and full swing sections. They collect their junior golf clubs sponsored by a local golf store, could not believe the whole set of brand new clubs would be theirs if they attend everyday for 5 days in a row. One girl asked me, which one of the golf clubs is she taking home, I told her all of them, her eyes sparkled and asked me again: "All of these?!" "Yes, this new set of club with the bag is yours, see? your name is on the bag, this is your bag now and you have to take care of it and use it well." I told her. I could sense she has this feeling that she is not worthy for the brand new set of golf clubs, I replied emotionally yes you are worthy of everything.

The goal of this program is to introduce them to this sport - Golf at no costs, through the program we would also teach them sportsmanship, integrity, honesty, respect, etiquette, focus, courage and determination along with technical knowledge; the idea behind is to hope that one day they would choose a sport to focus on rather than drugs or gangs.

Angkor Wat

Recently I am addicted to a program called "Ancient Alien", it is a documentary program collects information from all around the world about earth being visited by Alien during ancient time. It took a closer look at Mayan's, Chinese's, Indian's, an African tribe in Mali central Africa, Polynesian and South American's record. However, the program did not cover Cambodia.

Attached photos of Angkor Wat, Wat means temple in Khmer (Cambodian Language, Wat means temple in Thai Language too). This Kingdom was built around 800AD, the temple area scattered in the middle of the city and also remote area in the jungle. I was so amazed at the workmanship of the stone, and wondered how could those people move and carve these stones without advance technology? If you take a close look at the photo, each Buddha's face was carved to perfection with different facial expression on granite or limestone, I mean these are not sandstone which could be polished easily. Each block could weight a ton and mean while you have each stack on top of each other so seamlessly.

The funny thing about them all described a war between the Gods and Evils at the end, on the other side of the globe, I saw this detail relief on a stone carving wall at Angkor Wat, there are Gods on Chariots and Evils on monster-looking flying animal fighting against each other. This wall was carved 1200 years ago, I just could not believe the way they could build this temple or palace at that level of technology.

Regarding to the program, it stated that there are shafts inside the Pyramids and this tiny little window used to point to the sky, a location where a planet used to be, its name is "Sirius". This particular planet wasn't found until 1940's and it could not be seen with naked eyes, also found there are Sirius B and Sirius C orbit Sirius A (the main planet)

The crazy thing about it all, a tribe located at Mali central Africa celebrates a festival each year to remember their sky-keeper, which taught the tribe to pinpoint the location of Sirius A, B & C !!! They have a tool which made from iron, it actually shows the exact orbit from Sirius B and C toward A, isn't it amazing? And they said these sky-keeper from "Sirius" visited them 1200 years ago meanwhile we just found these planets in the 40's !!!

Immigration interview

yesterday was the interview with U.S.C.I.S., I was given a book to study about United States history and civil knowledge a few months ago after they took my finger prints and photos. There were a writing test, reading test, oral test and civic test all in one - interview, I thought there would be a whole brunch of people in the classroom and take these tests together, end up I was assigned an examiner and everything was done in his office one on one.

At the beginning of introduction, he asked me a lot of questions such as my name change after marriage, did I commit a crime before, was I convicted in any where in the world, was I deported from any countries before...... everything was a "no" answer. Suddenly he asked me if our country is under another terrorist attack, am I willing to defend the nation and work in the military, of course I answered "yes if necessary". It was going on like that for about 5 minutes, he mixed the "yes" answer into all the "no" all together to make sure I am listening to him carefully and answer him with total understanding.

The funny thing was he is an art collector, he then showed me his chinese porcelain collection and antique wood carving pieces, he wanted to know my opinion on each item. I told him which one is obviously "not real" and where to look for details, which one is about 150 years old and why....etc. this went on for about 15 minutes.

Out from the blue he asked me my first civic tests question:
1. which group of people were brought to United States as slaves?

I paused for about 3 seconds because my mind was in those antique pieces, then I answered him "The African", starting to switch my mind back to the test.

2. Why did they fight the British to start this nation?

"Because of high taxes and the British army stayed at people's house and land."

3. What is the highest judicial institution in United States?

"The Supreme Court"

4. Who is our Vice President?

"Joe Biden"

5. Who makes the federal laws?

"The senates and the house of representatives"

6. How many amendments are there in the constitution?

"27"

I was told they will ask 10 questions out from the 100 and I have to answer 6 correctly to pass the civic test, well this gentleman asked me 6 and I hit them all so he stopped right there.

He then said to me, quoted:
"You are a very intelligent chinese lady, welcome to United States"

"Thank you, I appreciate it."

Viola! That's the end of my interview, passing with flying color!

Home sweet home

After the tiring 40+ hours flight with layover at London + New Jersey, we eventually arrive home safely.

Let me tell you, we seriously doubted why we had to go somewhere when we stepped into the house, it looked so gorgeous compared to what we saw in Thailand, the house itself is the best vacation home ever. Anyway we have accomplished a lot as far as the research trip is concerned, victor has come to the fact that he was in shocked for the first 4 days, when we had to leave the town he said he is going to miss Hua Hin, what a big difference!

A few hours before our departure, we had to return the rental car. Thank God we did not have any serious accident, the new york taxi driver style of Victor has put some scratches on the front left bumper and the rubber piece below the bumper was missing. We put down some cash for deposit when we rented the car 22 days ago, Victor strategically parked the car very close to the next car on the left side so the guy couldn't see those scratches...... of course we got 100% of our deposit back. I wanted to get a bottle water next door at a 7-11 afterward, Vic just pulled my elbow and said: Let's get out of here ASAP!

safely arrived wednesday night after 1am, the 40+hour flight & wait time was killing both of us, I was in better shape than Victor.

Now I have a lot to catch up and take time to recharge my battery, at least 4 days just to relax. I say relax but I know I can't relax. Ends up one fuse jumped in the garage when we were not home and my giant chest freezer lost power for a long time, all the food inside were spoiled and that smell is really bad. It took me 2 hours to clean up and I have to get rid of that rotten smell in the garage, lots of work!

Golf at Springfield again

We played this course first upon our arrival a month ago, we decided to play it again because the other 9 holes were under maintenance back then, turns out we were not disappointed, it is a very pretty layout around the foothill and the green was rolling much faster than the other courses we played on.

A day before we played in a golf society event with other expats (mostly English and Dutch), after golf, we sat down to have lunch with other players and talk to them about our view of this town. This gentleman just bought a Harley Davidson as his new toy, so he was bragging about it.

Victor says: I can't believe you can drive a motorbike around here, it's dusty and dirty everywhere, it is going to hurt your lung for what you breathe in on the road.

This gentleman replied: Don't move here if you feel it is so much dust here.

I was laughing, classical chit-chat for Vic and strangers.

Today we knew this Harley-Davidson guy is the father of the club pro at Springfield Golf and Country Club.

We had lunch with the pro, asked information about the golf membership, we would expect it is just like Florida --- very busy during the season when Norway is snowing.

Victor had fun with our caddies, he learn their way to cover up, look at his new middle-eastern golfing style.

Last day in a hurry

we have to return the car before 4pm and we decided to drive up to the mountain area to see some new residential development.

It's not like united states or hong kong, there is a MLS listing for every properties be posted in the open. Some sellers only give the properties to certain brokers, some brokers only want to sell for a few new developments, we were very limited to what the brokers show us, it may not reflect the total truth of what could be available and suitable for us on the market.

So on the last day, we decided just to drive to see different area and housing project without an agent. The result was pleasantly surprise, we went to 4 different developments and they are all different. Some got ocean and mountain view but smaller lot size, some got bigger lot size but in the mountain of no-where, even we were promised there would be a 4 lane road build to connect the development to civilization, but who knows how long that is going to take.

We have to check out at 7pm, we must try those giant shrimps tonight, we calculated our budget and exchange the proper amount of thai baht because we do not want to carry the overseas currency back home. We headed to the night market and eat there for the first time with Victor. Boy the shrimp is big, I put a lime next to it so it shows how big that monster actually is, longer than my hand.

The king pawn was char-grilled to perfection, as usual I took care of the head which Victor doesn't eat. Salted & pepper calamari, stir-fried vegetable, pineapple fried rice, steamed scallop with garlic butter were also ordered, Vic has been complaining that I order too much food, too many dishes on the table. He does not understand Thai and Chinese eat in similar manner, just that Thai serve a much smaller portion, we suppose to order a few dishes on the table and share everything. Not like western cuisine you order your entree and I order mine then we work on our own plate, that's not the thai way in dining.

Make sure we are fully charged to prepare for our 40 hours+ trip back to Florida.

P.S. the supermarket is pretty clean and hygiene, outside of the supermarket ---- I am not too sure.

Best Getaround Car

Got wheels, will travel.

We rented this little car from a local car rental place operated by an English retiree, paying $800B (US$ 24) for a day including insurance and committed 22 days of rental. This little car takes us every where and sustain Victor's New York taxi driver's style in the last 20 days. I am very happy that we are still alive.

There are many little alleys and small un-paved road outside the main road of the town, we survive by squeezing ourselves into tight lane and hundreds of motorbikes shooting all around us.

Since we are driving on the right side of the car (the steering wheel), we are not so sure how much room we have on the left side. Many times Vic just hit the bumpers into the curb side and here the curb is extremely high, I think it is 18 inches tall. Of course we scratched it, then there were so many pot holes we went through while driving to different golf courses, we dropped the rubber piece under the front bumper when we went across a railroad track in high speed (well, this is new york taxi driver's style...... ) Victor's excuse was he did not see it, we felt we ran through something, we did not know at that time. Later we found out we lost the bottom part of the bumper.

Anyway, we survive! But wait, I don't want to say Thank God too early, we still have 2 days to go with our little Honda Jazz!

Sam Roi Yot National Park

Wow it is a long day today, we went to a Thailand National Park where is 60 miles south of town. We had no idea where the road would take us and the map we've got doesn't show much when we drive outside the main town area. All we did was follow the sign and the road, we went to the sign shows that massive natural limestone cave I wanted to see, we were told it takes a boat ride to go there.

Ok we took the boat ride for $300B (US$ 9), we had to take off our shoes and walk toward that James Bond type of fishing boat on shallow beach, the water is knee's height then we climbed into the boat.

After 10 minutes of boat ride, we arrive this national park and was told we have to pay $200B (US$ 6) each adult to get in. The park guard does not speak english and we do not speak thai, so Victor gave him $300B and told him I am a child so it should be half price!

Then we were approached by some locals to told us we need a guide, we have to pay them $100B (US$ 3) to show us where to walk. Hey I thought how difficult it is to walk up and down the mountain?! Later this fee was increased to $200B because we are foreigners and should pay more $. Alright I said to myself it is only $200B US$6 and should not go crazy about it, treat it as donation to local people.

Ok, we pay more and pay more and pay more and pay some more. It is only a few bucks here and a few bucks there. But it just bugs me that local people treat us as ATM just because we are foreigners.

Eventually we walked up 150km to the cliff and climb down 40 km and got into the cave. It is a natural wonder, it is a beautiful scene but I just felt so much being scammed by the Thai people and their government. The whole thing of showing you my country's beauty is basically a scam, hey pay here and pay there and walk a few miles then you'd see the cave.

The hike was a tough job for Victor, he is holding on strong but some steps are over 3 foot tall and he walked with bad knee injuries, it was a bit difficult. I am happy that he made it and it was a big accomplishment. To my hiking experience from 1 star the easiest and 5 stars the most difficult, this hike was 4.5 stars, the 5 stars level are involving climbing with both hands.

Thai Food

Thai food is not limited to the vegetable and shrimp stir fried or Pad Thai, it has a wide range of seafood, poultry, meat, starch, salad, soup and vegetable being cook in different ways.

Traditionally, there is a seasoning tray served on the table with Thai dishes. Usually comes in 4 cups of seasoning in 1 tray, including sugar - symbolize sweet (enjoyment) things in life; chili powder - symbolize spicy (excitement) things in life; fish sauce with chili pepper - symbolize salty (essential) things in life and vinegar with diced chili - symbolize sour (tough) things in life. These are the four basic flavour in thai food, also in normal thai lives.

It has a very big chinese influence on Thai food but I would say it splited its way and develop something very special for its tropical climate. The way thai plays with flavor is top of the list, you really have to pay attention to your taste bud after you eat something. Well, if it's not too spicy, you should be able to distinguish an after-taste with a special dish, that means one food does not deliver one taste only, it could carry three different taste at the same bite.

Victor is not brave enough to eat on the street where thai locals eat, but I tried it a few times and it did taste very local. Doesn't mean I don't like it, but I would like to eat my food in a cleaner environment, thai can eat anywhere, give them a fire and they can set up a hotpot dinner in the middle of the road, no kidding.

We had a high tea at the Sofitel Hotel today, facing the gulf of thailand and watching people horseback riding right on the beach, gave us a superior feeling that we had the best seat in the house. Victor was chit-chating with stranger again, this gentleman is from Denmark and come vacationing every year in Thailand. We spent over 2 hours tea time in this two table thai gazebo at the magnificent garden of Sofitel, Hua Hin, which is the oldest luxury hotel in the area, over 100 years old.

Carnival Thai Style

After dinner, we bumped into a night market only opens on weekend, we missed it in the last 3 weeks eventually we caught up with it.

There must be over 1000 motorbikes park around the soccer field size night market. There are places to eat dinner, to have dessert, to enjoy a drink, they are selling everything you could think of from potted plants to goldfish to costume jewellery to shoes to knocked off handbags....etc.

Victor bought a leather belt for 100B = US$ 3 and I bought 2 leggings for 200B = US$ 6, I could have buy a lot more stuffs but it was extremely hot and humid, it was very tough to walk through every isle.

We saw this game area with rides and slide, we went in there to squashed with the kids, it was a funny scene to see how thai people do it, I doubted about their safty but it seems no body cares.

Reality

Reality is very hash, like the script in "The Godfather" said: Can you handle the truth?!

We went to Hyatt Regency resort (next to Chivasom Spa) tonight and it has such a big contrast from outside to inside, we drove in the bamboo lined driveway into this Thai style luxury resort just 5 minutes south of the main town area, everything looks so lush and beautifully landscaped, every corner have security guard or service person to ask how could they help you, there is the lagoon style salt water pool wrap around the whole outdoor forest, if I don't pinch myself I would feel like I am in a resort in the middle of a rain forest; not near the town of Hua Hin.

As we drove away from the grand entrance, we saw people living in shed, childred running around to play on dirt road without shoes, cars are too expensive so everyone ride on their motorbike or bicycle, construction debris is being dumped on the side walk seems like no one really care.

Man, that's reality. Coming out from a luxurious bubble and you've got reality. I doubted how many of us who lives inside a gated community knows what life is like in Riviera Beach?! How people struggle a monthly income to feed a family of eight? Over here it's not even an area apart, it shocks you right in the face when you drive out from your getaway resort.

I think we saw things much deeper than regular tourists, we really did investigate about the neighbourhood, about the culture, about people's lifestyle and principle. No offence there is tons of Scandinavian or English flooded this town in the winter, I personally feel it would not be our first choice to live here permanently, just too difficult.

When you poke through the bubble, make sure you can handle the truth. This is a good thought for me, I have been in the bubble while I traveled here in Thailand, because I was a tourist, I don't look at things like I do now. It made my eyes wide opened.

back to Thailand

hi everyone,

had a wonderful time in Hong Kong, thank you for showing up in such a short notice, I did not get my ticket confirmed until 2 days before flight schedule, it was kind of rush to stay 4 nights only and I lost the first night because I arrived after 12 am at night.

ate a lot of dim sum, chiu chow food and cantonese seafood dishes, it tasted so good that I had a thought to move back to Hong Kong! In reality, it is too expensive to live in Hong Kong the way we wanted to live. Golf is very expensive in Hong Kong, there are only 4 private country clubs in Hong Kong and the cheapest one cost US$ 250,000 to join plus stay on a waiting list for God-Knows-How-Long. There is one public golf course owned by The Jockey Club cost US$ 100 a round without a caddy. It is just impossible to play golf regularly if living in Hong Kong, unless we travel to Mainland China every weekend.

I had a hotpot dinner with my sister and 2 nepthews a night before departure, everything tasted just great and I could not get the same ingredients in the states, I could only obtain frozen food item for hotpot, well it is better than nothing.

Enjoy everyone's company very much, really miss you all and hope to see you soon. I smuggled a til (2.5 lbs) of Char-Siu (honey roasted bbq pork) from Hong Kong to Thailand, Vic loves it!

I did some shopping at Stanley market & Fa Yuen Street in Mongkok, there are so many goodies to buy that I had to think about do I have enough room in my luggage to carry them all!