I received an email from a friend, it's one of those chain email got some content in it and being circulate on the internet, too bad the speaker (Marriage Counselor) is Chinese and he spoke in Cantonese during the video, otherwise I would attach the video clip here.
During Chinese 5000 years of history, has developed a very knowledgeable system about the constellation, the movement of the stars, how does the tilt of the earth affect our individual lives...etc. We simply call these people the "Fortune Teller", but "fortune-telling" has many types and levels, today we are only talking about seeing the movement of certain stars to predict or avoid certain things happen in your life.
There was a term called, "Against your husband" in ancient Chinese fortune-telling history. It means certain type of women always bring conflicts into the household, in old history, it could be told by the time this woman was born or face-reading. This speaker mentioned there is no such thing in a pre-justice scenario, there is such woman in real life base on the way she behaves or she responses to her husband.
Over a survey in Asia, Chinese woman has the highest divorce rate in Asian Regions. The speaker mentioned it was because Chinese women love to control. Japanese women, Thai women or Korean women do not have this mind-set. 70% divorce rate and 30% successful marriage in Chinese Regions. The survey also shows problems arise on the women side more than on the men side in Chinese regions. It is not blaming women for all the divorce issues, just an observation that men like to be praised; like to have "Face"; like to be "needed". On the other hand, stronger chinese women always tend to knock their husbands down with negative feedback, compliant, ignorance. As time goes by, these attitudes create a hole so big that could not be mended, both parties have to be separated.
Sometime women are also too concern of who is right or who is wrong. The speaker said there is no right or wrong in a marriage; there is only willing or not-willing. Oh one lady complaints: "What he did was wrong, I should divorce him. What is your opinion?"
The speaker says: "Do you think it is easier to divorce him? or it is easier to forgive him?"
She replied: " It is easier to forgive him. You are right."
He quoted from the old testament in the bible:
"A successful marriage is for a man to treat his wife like his own flesh and blood; for a woman to submit herself to her man." Genesis.
"Why is there so many problems in people's marriage nowadays?" The speaker said: "It's because the man does not treat his wife like his own flesh and blood but more like clothes and furniture; the woman does not submit herself to her husband but create conflicts in the household through all sorts of argument. How could you not have a 70% divorce rate in Asia?"
The speakers also mentioned:
Men are like dolphins in the Ocean Park, you throw them a fish, they pick it up and do a flip-over, then you jump up and down and clap your hands to praise them, they are happy and willing to do it again, as easy as that.
I have to share a slogan with you, I always say it to Victor and it works like a charm. Whatever he does ok, I said: "You are the man! I don't know what to do without you." He then always smile and feel really happy and walk back to his office.
Today he sanded the wall after the electrician replaced the thermostats, he also painted it nicely.
I said,"You are the man! I don't know what to do without you in my life"
He smiled and walk away......
Quoted from Ancient Chinese Proverb: "It takes a 100 years of good deeds to share a room with a person on a boat ride; it takes a 1000 years of good deeds to share a bed with your spouse."
Ancient Chinese believed in many lives within a person, you are you in this life, you could be a monk in your previous life and there was a previous life before your monk's life and so forth. In short, for you to meet someone to share a room on a boat ride, you must have done 100 years of good deeds in order to meet this person. On the other hand, you must have done 1000 years of good deeds to share a bed with your spouse in this life, so Ancient Chinese simply said "don't fuck it up but treasure the relationship."
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