Do men really behave like dolphins?

I received an email from a friend, it's one of those chain email got some content in it and being circulate on the internet, too bad the speaker (Marriage Counselor) is Chinese and he spoke in Cantonese during the video, otherwise I would attach the video clip here.

During Chinese 5000 years of history, has developed a very knowledgeable system about the constellation, the movement of the stars, how does the tilt of the earth affect our individual lives...etc. We simply call these people the "Fortune Teller", but "fortune-telling" has many types and levels, today we are only talking about seeing the movement of certain stars to predict or avoid certain things happen in your life.

There was a term called, "Against your husband" in ancient Chinese fortune-telling history. It means certain type of women always bring conflicts into the household, in old history, it could be told by the time this woman was born or face-reading. This speaker mentioned there is no such thing in a pre-justice scenario, there is such woman in real life base on the way she behaves or she responses to her husband.

Over a survey in Asia, Chinese woman has the highest divorce rate in Asian Regions. The speaker mentioned it was because Chinese women love to control. Japanese women, Thai women or Korean women do not have this mind-set. 70% divorce rate and 30% successful marriage in Chinese Regions. The survey also shows problems arise on the women side more than on the men side in Chinese regions. It is not blaming women for all the divorce issues, just an observation that men like to be praised; like to have "Face"; like to be "needed". On the other hand, stronger chinese women always tend to knock their husbands down with negative feedback, compliant, ignorance. As time goes by, these attitudes create a hole so big that could not be mended, both parties have to be separated.

Sometime women are also too concern of who is right or who is wrong. The speaker said there is no right or wrong in a marriage; there is only willing or not-willing. Oh one lady complaints: "What he did was wrong, I should divorce him. What is your opinion?"
The speaker says: "Do you think it is easier to divorce him? or it is easier to forgive him?"
She replied: " It is easier to forgive him. You are right."

He quoted from the old testament in the bible:
"A successful marriage is for a man to treat his wife like his own flesh and blood; for a woman to submit herself to her man." Genesis.
"Why is there so many problems in people's marriage nowadays?" The speaker said: "It's because the man does not treat his wife like his own flesh and blood but more like clothes and furniture; the woman does not submit herself to her husband but create conflicts in the household through all sorts of argument. How could you not have a 70% divorce rate in Asia?"

The speakers also mentioned:
Men are like dolphins in the Ocean Park, you throw them a fish, they pick it up and do a flip-over, then you jump up and down and clap your hands to praise them, they are happy and willing to do it again, as easy as that.

I have to share a slogan with you, I always say it to Victor and it works like a charm. Whatever he does ok, I said: "You are the man! I don't know what to do without you." He then always smile and feel really happy and walk back to his office.

Today he sanded the wall after the electrician replaced the thermostats, he also painted it nicely.

I said,"You are the man! I don't know what to do without you in my life"
He smiled and walk away......

Quoted from Ancient Chinese Proverb: "It takes a 100 years of good deeds to share a room with a person on a boat ride; it takes a 1000 years of good deeds to share a bed with your spouse."

Ancient Chinese believed in many lives within a person, you are you in this life, you could be a monk in your previous life and there was a previous life before your monk's life and so forth. In short, for you to meet someone to share a room on a boat ride, you must have done 100 years of good deeds in order to meet this person. On the other hand, you must have done 1000 years of good deeds to share a bed with your spouse in this life, so Ancient Chinese simply said "don't fuck it up but treasure the relationship."

Let's talk about handbag

I was never crazy about handbags, I had some good stuffs because of working years ago, that I needed something nice to walk around with. I could not picture myself in a beautiful tailor-made suit but a lousy handbag in a launch event meeting. Everything just had to be top-notch at that time, I am very happy now with flip-flop and golfing outfit everyday. I don't even comb my hair some day if I decided a cap would go on top of it, who cares now?!

Someones left-over would be other's treasure; you'd never know until you list it on ebay. I was talking to my friends about this Gucci tote bag I had for over 12 years, it has been sitting in the garage since I moved to Florida, never once I used it for something, dust and co-web was occupying the surface of it. Until now, I am cleaning up the garage and prepare for moving, that I made up my mind to sell any non-useful items on ebay.

I listed this bag for $49.99
I thought I would get $100+ possibly, I said to myself. Well, let's clean it up and give it a go! At the end of the day, it is still a genuine Gucci.

Out from the blue, once I listed it, I had email asking me for further photos and detail description of this bag. I said to myself: "It's gonna cost about $500+ to get a Gucci Tote these days."

I spent $350 on this bag 12 years ago, I used it a few days a week for work if I wasn't using a Jean Paul Crocodile skin suitcase at that time. It served me for over 2 years. Guess how much it was sold for nowadays?!

A whopping $ 227 plus someone has to pay $16 for me to ship this item!

It is very difficult to believe an exclusive handbag held its 70% value after 12 years!

From this day on, I would encourage all my girlfriends --- Let's go shopping! to buy some expensive handbags for future investment! Viola!

Dress code

Basically I do not care how other people dress, I just could not help myself but write about dress code today. Yesterday was the date to pledge allegiance at the West Palm Beach Court Room, where it hosted more than 120 people. On the letter I received about this appointment, clearly marked "Proper Attire Required".

What is "Proper Attire" when you have to appear in a court room?! Well, the answer was entertaining.

I wore a pink blouse with a black skirt to knee length, there is a slit on the side goes up to the mid-thigh for easy walking, a pair of black high-heel. I think this is very appropriate, not-showing too much meat + not revealing too much curve yet it is elegant without the formality. ( I didn't want to wear my suit with jacket and matching pants or skirt, it was too hot )

I saw a guy walks in with jeans got holes on them and his plaid shirt missing buttons; a very slim lady wearing a tight black dress just bearly cover her as* as the length goes and there are ropes fringe along side of her breast line and hip line, I personally think that was appropriate if she is pole-dancing for the day;

A 250 lb lady was wearing a tank-top, listen carefully --- a tank top! on a 250lb body, Gosh.... On the other hand, this African American young man is among the best of all, at least he cares, at least he cares enough to go get a brand new suit ( perhaps just the jacket ) even the tag of the brand is still sew on the left sleeve facing out. He might plan to return that jacket after yesterday.

I couldn't help myself but ask: What is appropriate attire nowadays?!

Appropriate Attire:
Going to church, temple, court room --- nothing shorter than 4" above knee length, shoulder and chest should be covered. No one is interest in looking at your toes unless they are really pretty, otherwise one should always wear close-toe shoes. Absolutely no flip-flop. Men should wear a suit or a shirt and long pants, no shorts at these places. Jeans is acceptable if they are nice, not those I saw with holes on them.

The Pledge of Allegiance

"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

Wow, it sounds so serious. Yes it is a serious business, marks an end to the quest of American citizenship, the funny thing is I shall leave this country shortly after becoming a citizen. Well, it has been over 3 years and Victor asked me do I have special feeling that I have become a United States citizen this afternoon, I told him the truth I don't feel anything different, I have been living here for so long already, it just make it easy for me to travel, don't have to deal with different names and different passports, the last but not least, I have the RIGHT to vote and I am going to vote Pelosi out of the office in coming November.

" The Oath of Allegiance

I hereby declare on oath that I absolutely and entirely renounce and abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state or sovereignty of whom or which I have hereto been a subject or citizen;

That I will support and defend the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America against all enemies, foreign and domestic;

That I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same;

That I will bear arms on behalf of the United States when required by the law;

That I will perform noncombatant service in the Armed Forces of the United States when required by the law;

That I will perform work of national importance under civilian direction when required by the law;

And that I take this obligation freely without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion;

So help me God. "

So help me God. I like the sentence mention --- One nation, under God, indivisible...etc. I see this country has been divided, has been divided by left or right; Democrats or republican; Muslim or christian; Is it under my God or under Your God?! This is also the beauty about this country, lies in the Bills of Rights, it's the freedom of religions. Even the founding fathers and framers were Christians, there is a Jewish star on your paper money, there was no one religion being impose on any citizens of this country. You get to choose what you want to believe in, as long as you don't hurt other people.

I felt a sense of responsibility, or I shall say obligation to fight for the country; yes that is how I felt after I pledge my allegiance. Let's hope there is peace so they won't call me to bear arms.

Ah~~also, President Obama from The White House wrote me a letter, (attached) makes it looks so good, he is really good at PR; perhaps he should open up a PR firm instead of talking on TV everyday or he could really use his valuable time to solves some of the toughest crisis this country is facing.

So help us God.

Rosh Hashanah

Today is a high holiday of Judaism, the Jewish New Year. Similar to the Chinese New Year which follows a lunar calender, so the date is always different every single year. I made a honey cake, matzo ball soup and steak for dinner. Originally was going to buy something already cooked, after asking the chefs about the sauce that brisket is swimming in, realized Victor just can not eat any prepared food because that brisket was fine but the sauce was thicken with tons of flour. At the end of the day, I would still have to cook dinner.

Anyway, we interviewed another real estate agent today at the house. He came with his father which I felt surprised. I asked Victor to call them because I read this article about international buyers are purchasing property here in palm beach county, a whooping 32% home sales from last spring to this spring was closed with foreigner buyers. On the newspaper, this agent stated 25% of his closing deals involved foreign buyers. Well, he is in the house.

He likes the house very much, told me don't touch a thing and don't move a thing, I am being too sensitive about it, everything is beautifully decorated. He stated that we are very exceptional, most of the clients have to be reminded to change the light bulbs, clean up the kitchen, put things away....etc. So did our friends told us the same things, he said the house is already staged for sale, he would be very happy to start selling it tomorrow.

I guess Victor and I are very much Type A positive personality people, we like other people have enthusiasm, enjoy what they do and be good at it. We may end up choose this broker because he is enthusiastic, he belongs to a bigger network and able to cover a larger exposure, he also has a very good Internet coverage. I think I do not want to limit myself to a certain group of buyers who live inside this community looking to move up to a bigger house; I want to be exposed to the market; I want overseas buyers be able to view the house before they fly in for the weekend; I want to see the ad about my house on the paper, not just The Palm Beach Post, also The Wall Street Journal and The New York Times. It's all about exposure.

And this guy seems could do better, tell you the truth we are not so sure but I guess we are willing to list it outside the box, which are the top 2 listing agents here at this community. I like one of the lady very much, she is very sincere and would love to show the house. But the networking of her company just might not match the guy we met today. We figure our listing price would be around 980,000. We have not confirm it yet, if we don't take this number, we might bring it up higher to 1.1 million range. I personally like the 980 number because when people search homes on the internet, always put up a budget to search from, 1 million is a pretty big water mark right there, I might lose some target client's click by listing it over 1 million, that's how I thought.

agents interview

We interviewed two female agents from two different companies who specialize in selling homes in this golf community, I was surprised about the difference I felt about both of them.

Perhaps it was not fair to one of them because I have met one lady 3 years ago when Victor's college friend from Connecticut came down to bought a home inside our gate. So we have already met and know about each others, but I did not call her first, I called the one whom I do not know first, to gave her a tour of the house and show her what kind of renovation we put into the house 6 years ago, in order to update the house to current standard.

This first lady was enthusiastic about the things we put into the house, the faucets, the vessel sinks, the steam shower room, brand new kitchen, hurricane impact glass window and french doors....etc. She gave inputs of how to show the house better, what plants to eliminate and what mood should be set for showing....etc.

The one we have already known gave us a different approach, victor gave the same tour and the same explanation, she went through everything but it just does not interest her as much. I guess because she was in our house before, delivering contracts while Victor's friend was staying with us.

We further spent time sitting down at the dining room to discuss the market and strategy of selling homes nowadays in this tough market, she emphasized the buyers are very difficult to deal with, they would throw you a price you never dreamed of, she means the low-balling. I did not talk much but I was listening, she told us this is how many square footage of that house and how much it was sold for, you should not go higher than that figure. I then ask her about the lot size? about the view of the lot? about the inside decorating of the house and was it updated to a today's standard or staying at 16 years ago's standard when this community was first opened?

She said it was not updated but it was not important to the client.

I then gave her my speech: (victor knows immediately I am pushing the bell like that one in American Idol)

"Anybody can sell a dollar bill for 70 cents, and everyone would buy it." I said to her very politely with a very gentle tone.

"And anybody can list this house, what I need is a person who likes this house at the first date. You know what it's like?! It's like I am fixing up my friend with a boyfriend, if they meet for the first time and do not like each other, there is just not much I can do. I need a person who can represent me, my taste and my thought-process in order to sell this house. And all you care about is how low a figure I could give you to list the house. To you, this house is just another product you want to get onto the shelve; to me, I have to commit to someone I trust and knowing this person believe in what they are selling is the greatest. That's what makes a successful sale or a get-by-day-after-day sale.

Because the reality is no matters how low you list the house, buyers are going to throw you a lower price, that is just the way it goes. No one would pay a sticker price to buy a car nor a sticker price to buy a house. To persuade us to list it as low as possible is just showing that you want a quick sale, let me sell it at 70 cents so I could get my commission and get the hell out. Sorry it just won't work for us, we need someone who loves the house at first sight, who understands how special this lot is and how to show this house with passion.

At the end of the day, I can not control what kind of a figure a buyer would throw at me. But I control who is going to show this house successfully."

our meetings end with the speech I gave above, victor and I had a discussion over dinner at a Chinese restaurant, we both have the same feeling and like the first agent better so she is going to get the listing next week.

There are only 7 homes on my 3 streets are on the market, the lowest price being listing is 880k and the highest is 1.4 million, coming here to tell me I should list this house 20% lower than the lowest price on this block is just ridiculous, insulted my intelligence.

getting rid of things

It is very easy to obtain things that we don't need, through the years I just buy and buy and buy more without realizing I had the whole garage filled up with things that I don't need. it will be a challenge to sort things out down to 60 boxes, while we move out of this house.

today we had our first agent to come see the house, she likes it very much and it is a very special lot but again buyers are brutal in this tough market, we don't want to list a price that would be bargained lower and lower, so we came up a figure with a 10% margin with it, along with selling the house furnished or turnkey.

Living in the house while showing also post another challenge, victor can not throw his socks all over the place and I must put dirty dishes into the dish washer immediately instead of letting them hanging around the sinks. Everything has to look perfect and clean, almost feel like you are in the party mode expecting your guests to walk into the house in any minutes, funny feelings for later I am sure.

I would use next week to pack up personal items on all the shelving, donate clothing to Goodwills, have an electrician to come fix some landscape lights, then we are ready for the ride!

sounds like fun, we never knows what the future holds; I guess that is what makes it fun when it is not predictable.